You'll Never Know
by stephfarrow94
Summary: After being kicked out of his home, Shunsui falls into darkness, taking everything out on Jyuushiro. But when things go too far and he gets kicked out once again by Ukitake's parents, who will show him that there still /are/ people who care? Warnings: OOC, non-con, attempted suicide.


**I was having a really shitty day and just needed to vent, so warnings for this fic include somewhat OOC, hinted non-con and attempted suicide. If any of this offends you, don't read any further.**

Jyuushiro really didn't know what he was in for when he said Shunsui could stay with him and his family after having been kicked out of the Kyōraku household. The brunet was his best friend and was the most laid back person he knew; how bad could it be? Well, the answer to that was _very bad._

The first few days had consisted mainly of Shunsui drinking himself silly in the paler male's bedroom, one of the reasons he had gotten kicked out of his own home in the first place. Jyuushiro hadn't minded as he understood that the older boy was upset.

However, by around the sixth day of Shunsui's stay, Jyuushiro saw a side of the brunet that he had never thought he would see coming from the gentle-natured Kyōraku.

Jyuushiro walked into his bedroom, balancing two cups of tea on a serving dish, his trademark smile on his face. His parents weren't home and most of his siblings were out, leaving him in charge of his two youngest siblings; his brother and sister, twins that were barely older than toddlers.

"Shun, I brought you some –" Jyuushiro's softly spoken sentence had been cut off when a fist punched him in the face, knocking the dish from his hands and drawing blood from his nose. Ukitake whimpered and recoiled, not knowing what had hit him. "S-shun...!"

"Just shut up," Shunsui snarled. His grey eyes flashed with hatred and anger, a vast change from the usual calm displayed in them. "Leave me the fuck alone."

Jyuushiro's hand reached up and grabbed his nose, blinking back tears. He stuttered for a few seconds before he turned and left, the shattered cups on his bedroom carpet staining it with tea. Shunsui just watched him go, his eyes burning holes into the slighter boy's back.

Jyuushiro had been so frightened by that harsh exterior that he had just walked past both of his siblings, taking no notice of them until the older twin – the sister – staggered forward on unsteady feet and latched herself to her big brother's leg.

Ukitake looked down at this, a single tear dripping down his cheek and mingling with blood. He leant down and picked the twins up, finding comfort in his beloved family.

"What wrong, Jyuu?" the young boy asked, his hand fisting in the blue kimono his brother was wearing. "Jyuu 'kay?"

Jyuushiro nodded and smiled weakly at the twins, kissing them both on their foreheads. "I'm fine... Thank you, Haru, Hana..."

The second time Shunsui had acted out towards his best friend was just a few days later when Jyuushiro tried to take the brunet's sake away, knowing that it wasn't good for him to skip Academy lessons just to binge drink.

"I really think you should put it away..." Ever since the first time Shunsui had laid a hand on him, Jyuushiro couldn't help but become wary of the once-kind male, afraid of being hit again.

"Fuck off!" Shunsui shouted, not caring that the rest of the Ukitake family were home and could probably hear him. "You don't know shit about this, Jyuushiro! You still _have _your family...!"

Jyuushiro bowed his head, his shoulders tense. He was a good fighter, but he didn't want to have to fight his most beloved friend. "...Shun, I... I-I'm just worried about you..."

Within the blink of an eye, Shunsui had gotten out of the ill Shinigami's bed, crossed the room and pinned Jyuushiro to the wall by his throat, his face inches from the younger's. "Don't you _ever _claim to be worried about me, Jyuushiro... You have _no _idea...!"

"I-I'm sorry..." Jyuushiro choked, his illness rearing its ugly head. "F-forgive me...!"

Shunsui dropped the sickly male and moved back to the bed he had claimed as his own, his bottle of sake accompanying him once again. He ignored the wet coughs Jyuushiro struggled with and was aware of the looks his friend's parents were giving him, but he couldn't care; he just wanted to be alone.

Months had passed after this incident, and Shunsui only became worse. Kyōraku had beaten him, put him down emotionally, abused him mentally, and had even made sexual advances which he _knew _would not be reciprocated. Through all of this, Jyuushiro never once stopped loving Shunsui and lied to his parents, knowing that the brunet would be forced to leave if they knew what was happening to her beloved son.

Currently, while Jyuushiro's parents and siblings were out for the night visiting other relatives, Shunsui had Jyuushiro cornered in the bedroom, his calloused hand pulling at white locks as he murmured things that made Ukitake want to cry.

"You're such a slut," Shunsui spoke, his left hand darkening the already-present bruise on his friend's cheek as he slapped the boy as hard as he could. It didn't matter to him that Ukitake's skin was already adorned with cuts and bruises; he wanted to add _more. _"You want my cock, don't you, Jyuu? Don't you?"

Jyuushiro's knees were pulled up to his chest as he shook his head, tears slipping down his cheeks. "N-no..."

"Well, you're going to have it, anyway." Shunsui's right hand released the hair and moved instead to his Academy hakama, slipping it down his hips. He knew full well that Jyuushiro didn't want this, but it didn't stop him; the only thing that made him feel sane was hurting his friend. "Take it."

Jyuushiro's eyes widened in terror as he realised what was going to happen. It was true that Shunsui had called him names and said things to him of a sexual manner, but it had never gone this far before. What had happened to the sweet Shunsui who would hold him during an attack and tell him that everything would be alright?

Ukitake couldn't scream as his mouth was filled; he choked and gagged, tears leaking down his cheeks, but it only got worse from there. Shunsui held him down, removing the younger's clothing and forcing himself into the younger's body, caring nothing for gentleness.

The next day, Jyuushiro's family had come home to find him out in the front room, naked from the bottom down and covered in bodily fluids. Tears stained his face and it only took one look to know what had happened.

Shunsui had been kicked out once again, warned to never come near Jyuushiro. This was about the time when Kyōraku _knew _there was no point to living any longer. He had gone to the Academy as he usually did but this time without Jyuushiro by his side and, once classes finished for the day, he took his Zanpakutō out of the Academy grounds, something students weren't usually permitted to do.

The brunet wandered for a while, knowing that Jyuushiro had been taken in for medical attention and probably wouldn't be back home for a few days due to the damage he had caused after what he had done.

Shunsui moved over to where he knew a lake was and sat by the shore, looking at the small house built on top of the water. He pulled his Zanpakutō from their sheathes, running his finger along the blade of his tachi absentmindedly before he pointed it at his stomach.

Kyōraku was just about to force the blade through his stomach in hopes that it would put an end to his misery but, before he could move the blade a few inches more, skinny arms wrapped around his shoulders, a warm face burying itself against the small of his back.

Shunsui's eyes widened, recognising the sobs from behind him. Wait... W-was he sitting at the Ugendo's _lake...? _The one where Jyuushiro went to _rest...?_ "J-jyuushiro...?"

"Please, don't..." Jyuushiro sobbed, his arms tightening around his best friend. "P-please...!"

Shunsui was in shock. Why was Jyuushiro...? "...After what I've done to you...?"

"I know you were hurting..." Jyuushiro's voice was timid, probably afraid of what Shunsui would do to him this time. "Please... I-I love you..."

Shunsui was silent for a few seconds more, thinking over these words. Jyuushiro... had put up with so much from him, and... Wait, had he been so stupid this _entire _time...? Jyuushiro had been the one to take him in and try and look after him, the one to endure the abuse he inflicted daily and _still _shed tears over him... He had been _so fucking blind _hating his family and not seeing that he had someone who _loved _him _all along...!_

"..." Shunsui turned and pulled Jyuushiro onto his lap, embracing him tighter than ever. "...I'm sorry..."

"I forgive you, Shun..." Jyuushiro whispered, resting his pale face against the sturdy chest. "...I always forgave you..."

At these words, Shunsui felt a weight lifting from his shoulders. He buried his face in white hair, sobbing softly as he held the younger boy closer. After everything he had put Jyuushiro through, and he _still _loved him...

"I love you, Jyuushiro..." Shunsui whispered sincerely.

"I love you, too, Shun... Please, don't do that to yourself..."

"...Alright, but only if we can be friends again." Shunsui smiled softly, knowing that Ukitake wouldn't refuse.

Jyuushiro laughed softly amidst his tears. "...We always _were _friends... _Best _friends... no matter_ what..."_


End file.
